1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
