i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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