She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
