i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My balls are so social today.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
where are my eyebrows?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
