How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize