Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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