Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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