Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
