I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
