There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
