can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize