I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
