If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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