Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
