..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Mom said you looked used
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
