the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
