Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
