you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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