College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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