i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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