One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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