Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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