You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
