70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
