I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
