we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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