i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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