The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
