I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize