I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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