Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
is it fun? or sober?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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