there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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