That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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