She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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