I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize