My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
