The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
