Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize