I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
