Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
