just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
