Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
