I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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