found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
