Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
