Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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