That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
This baby is an asshole
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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