I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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