cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
