I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
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Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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