Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
