the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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