Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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