Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
