Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
