That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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