considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
