My brain says no but my pants say off.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
