Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
