the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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