I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
